If you're reading this, its because I've reached a focal point in my life. I haven't written any stories in a while. It angers and frustrates me sometimes. Years ago, I kept hearing of a place called The Memory Palace. I guess there's a book on this subject: the premise of this non-fiction book is how you can create your own memory palace. It can be whatever you want it to be, because its entirely created by you.
When I get frustrated, I'd often retreat to quiet places. I'd ditch myself in the library when times were tough at home. If I felt like getting farther away, I'd frequent my local Borders Bookstore. A few times I visited a coffee shop or two.
Yesterday was one of those days when all the rigamroe, all the complicated garbled mess of a mind came to a head.
I needed a retreat.
So, while at the library, I sat and read. Then I began to imagine a memory palace kind of idea. Not a palace, per say. More like a one man coffee shop. One in where I am the owner, founder, barista and patron all in one.
I imagined unlocking the door to this place on a cold september night. Then I turned on the lights, hung up my coat, turned on the machines and read the paper as the blenders swished the concotion which would later become my drink. Since I was frustrated, I relaxed. First on the outside, then on the inside.
My life has taken a few turns.
Some have been troubled times but all have been interesting and most have been real eye-opening moments. These are the moments I should be focusing on. Not all the bad stuff. And yet, we can't help it. We consume it, it consumes us. These are just thoughts, by the way.
While attending this fictional coffee shop, let's call it Rob's Brew, I began to stir my Double Venti Latte' as I picked a seat close to the wide windows displaying an empty parking lot.
A double, because I've had a shot or two in my life.
A Venti, because boy did I need to vent.
While I'm not necessarily on the verge of lamenting I am still hopeful about the future.
So I sit, sip, and burrow myself deeper into the cushion chair with the high back. It's my favorite chair. There are no other customers. There's no music playing. It's just quiet. Serene.
Yesterday, I found out that someone tried to rip me off. Thankfully the bank caught it in time but I was more than frazzled. My daily commute to work is twenty minutes and change. I was running on empty to work and empty from work. All because my card was declined. I even had to cut it up.
This is the third time that this has happened in my life. I just couldn't take it. I've also been progressing with work and trying to find ways of making multiple forms of income.
Why? you might ask.
Well, I'm going to be a father.
My wife is 9 weeks pregnant and that has propelled me into a state of compassionate fatherhood. I've been taking care of my wife non-stop and I don't mind. But I'm also thinking about our kid wriggling around inside of her. When you're faced with fatherhood, you have this overwhelming sense to provide, provide, provide.
I take another sip of what is now an iced hazelnut coffee. Two sugars, extra cream. Just the way I like it.
My head has been cramed with technical information, story ideas, finances, savings, and now preparing for the future. As an author, all I can do is write. As a husband, I hunt for more ways to provide. Working on a coupled entropenuer ideas. As a man, I'm compelled to exprese myself, talk to you guys on this here blog.
Why? Becuase I want to give you daily peeks into my head.
In the meantime, I slurp the rest of the coffee and pull up a chair. Maybe someday...you can join me...and boy...could I tell you some stories.
Relax, stay calm, don't worry, be happy.