Pushing Through Misery

 

A lot has changed in 18 months. And I find myself coming back to blogging.

The pandemic was slowing down here in the states. The lowest amount of cases in June of 2021 was a remarkable 5,000 for the entire country. Now we have had 1.35 Million cases just yesterday. The Beta Variant is gone. The Delta Variant is dwindling. It seems that the majority of cases of Omicron are less severe and come with an antibody response.

Many of my fellow narrator friends, family members, and old friends have lost a loved one due to Covid19 or Cancer or another illness.

My own father passed away from Cancer. A form called Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumors (GIST) on September 25th of 2021. (For more information on this rare disease, click here.)

We've lost heroes young and old. Quite recently we lost Betty White, Sidney Poitier and Bob Saget.

Here in Michigan, January has replaced December as an unforgiving month of bitter cold with temperatures in the single digits at night.

And while a lot has changed, you have to wonder: How does one power through trauma and misery in order to write another story?

Well, this blog is called Tales and Troubled Times of a Hungry Writer for a reason. 

I am no stranger to Trauma.

Writing has always been therapeutic for me. My mother and father always encouraged my voracious appetite for reading and when I finally started penning my own stories, they gave me tremendous support. When I decided to self-publish my first book, they provided me with money to do so. They kept copies of my books in their bedroom on a nightstand within reach. Every time I told them I had another idea cooking they were both impressed and astonished by my productivity. But they were the ones who fed the fire that continues to burn within me.

Yes, it is easy to get bogged down. To have downtimes. To not even want to glance at a blank page. To regard storytelling as a fool's gambit when you are in the throes of great depression. But the blank page is always waiting. It remains neutral. The blank pages listen to your woes and tries to help you figure them out one sentence at a time.

And while the world seems to be changing rapidly, through peaks and valleys, sometimes grim and sometimes hopeful, I remain convinced and encouraged that better days are just ahead.

At least, that would be my father's outlook. He was always a man with infectious optimism. And I'd like to carry on that tradition.

The last gift I gave my father was a gold pocket watch. These days I find myself wishing we had more time together.

The last gift he and my mother gave me was a FreeWrite Traveler.

Even with all the bad news and daily struggle of sadness, I have found time to finish some stories.

I recently finished what I called THE BIG SCI-FI BOOK, which has been long-gestating. It finally has a cover and is available on Kindle, Nook, and Kobo now. I call it Skyways Of Tomorrow. I am currently halfway through recording the audiobook.

I have also finished a thriller Novella on the FreeWrite.

A story I am 90 percent finished with is a Christmas Novella that will hopefully be out soon. Maybe in February.

And, quite recently, I've decided to end every future story I publish with the words:

In Loving Memory Of

Carmelo Scarlato

Life moves. Friendships are rekindled. Stories are still told.

Our strength as humans is not just in our multiple ways of expressing ourselves but also in that much-needed yearn to express our grief and to be vulnerable. This helps us untangle the wires in our minds. It helps us relate to one another. But it is a feature that is distinctly human.

So continue to write. Write about Sorrow. Write about Joys and Triumphs. Write about whatever your heart desires. Pour out your humanity on the page and it will heal you in turn.

Then you will find that you're not just pushing through misery. You are creating something new and beautiful which will make your loved ones proud.

I'm still writing stories, Papa. These yarns are for you.

What is Your Pursuit of Happiness?

If you had to choose a path to follow, which one would you choose? What motivates you to push it further, think outside the box? What do you want to accomplish?

If you're smart, you should focus on your passion. And how do you focus? What with financial issues and bills to pay, how do you mitigate through all that muck? What would you do if you did not have to worry about bills? Would you become an artist? A sculptor? Painter? A poet?

Well just pretend for a minute that all your bills, all your worries do not exist.

By all means, continue to pay them and be responsible. But for you, you need to focus. Find your room. This room should not be filled with anything that reminds you of your worries. It could be the basement, where you feel it is most quiet. It could be the library, where you feel more calm. It could be your favorite table or chair in a coffee house, where you feel more relaxed. Wherever that room is, go there.

Because all artists need a place to experiment.

I've written some of my best work in all three settings and, in the long run, it helped a great deal. Mind you, I wasn't the most financially sound in those times. At one point I owed my bank $700 dollars and had a crummy job that gave me 8 bucks an hour. But I hunkered down, focused on the work and somehow paid off that debt.

Just because you are struggling it does not mean that your work should stop.

It should be your pursuit of happiness. For the thrill of the pursuit gives a whole new meaning to whatever you create.




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What I'm Not

I'm not a writer dying to be published. I already am. I am self-published and proud of it. Nobody forced me into it and I knew it would not be quick and simple. My biggest fear was never having anything read that I had written. I wanted my voice out there so I put it out there. I'm never going to apologize for that. I'm not a writer who is longing to be published to the esteemed New Yorker. I'm not a writer who feels that exclusivity is a bench mark and that rejection is a totem of climbing success. I'm not a writer concerned about how many degrees you have. You want to impress me? Turn a blank page into something creative.
That will impress me. 

I'm not a writer who toils for years on the perfect modern american novel. I used to think that was what a writer was supposed to be all about. I was highly misinformed. I'm not a writer who will tell you to quit or that there are too many books out there in the ether. I've read amazing stories and have been wowed in many unique ways a thousand times over. Sure there are a lot of books out there. But yours is not out there yet and it needs to be. I'm not a writer who will settle for the notoriety of having written something. I want to support my family writing interesting stories to the amusement of the masses. That's what I'm all about. And I happen to want to write a lot. 

I'm not a writer who will write the same predictable story again and again. I am always striving to write something different; to venture further away from my comfort zone. in doing this I've discovered that approaching each story with a different eye gives the material that much more vibrancy and life. Never be comfortable. Always be willing to change and try something new.

I'm not a writer who believes that you only have one good story in you. Count up all the times you've played the 'What If?' game in your head. I bet it was more than one time. I'm not a writer who will buy reviews, no matter how tempting that might be. You wanna review something of mine? Fine with me. If its a five star review, that will put a smile on my face for a while but it will do nothing for me in the long run. If its a 3 to 1 star review filled with constructive feedback I may brood over it for weeks but in the end I will dust myself off and try to win you back with the next title. I'm not a writer who will offer you runaround advice on how to write. I'm gonna give you exactly what I learned and when I learned it and tell you straight out that you might find a different formula but so long as words get on the page, you've done something right. I'm not a writer who will slow down and take it easy. People have been telling me to take it easy my whole life. If I wanna fill up my tank and take a journey through a landscape of words leaving behind a lengthy back-list of written works in my wake then who are you to tell me to slow down? 

I'm not a writer who will compromise on story. If a story is engaging and rips an emotion from you, then that story has become a part of you and I believe that someone else needs to experience that same visceral feeling. I'm not a writer who believes this is art. This is work. A lot of work. And you know what comes after all that hard work? An income. If you've published hundreds of short stories to countless magazines and in the end you are dirt poor, you need to start selling your stories on the streets. Maybe then, through stomping those streets, you'll see how much more profitable and rewarding it is to talk directly to readers about your stories. I'm not a writer who supports these "Get Rich Quick On Kindle Scheme" ebooks. They are taking advantage of you and are simply driving up their sales on the backs of desperate people. I am not a writer who will ever write a How-To Book on writing. A memoir of writing, perhaps that's in the cards. But how can I possibly tell you how to write a book when I myself am constantly learning new things?

I am not a writer easily dismayed by dwindling sales or lackluster feedback. You ignore me, I'm just going to keep showing up. I'm not a writer who is going to charm you. At the end of the day, if you are driven to read something of mine and want to talk about it or the act of writing itself, then you have my full undivided attention. I'm not a great writer. I would say I'm a competent one. I've weaved enough story ideas that when I explain them to people, they scoot forward and are nearing the edge of their seats. That's why I do this; for the thrill of connecting with readers.

I am not a lot of things. What I am is a writer with heart. And if you've just read this and feel inspired to start writing yourself, then I bet that you have some heart too.